Journal Notes— I need to let go.
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” — Hermann Hesse
I write to share something deeply personal and likely profoundly common—a journey of navigating a challenging situation with a close friend. As your yoga teacher, I also want to share how yoga has helped me practice the profound art of letting go.
Friendships bring some of the sweetest, most beautiful moments in life. We know friendship can be a beautiful source of joy and support and can also bring its own set of challenges. Recently, I found myself entangled in a troubling conflict with a friend I hold dear. This situation wasn’t just a disagreement; it was a whirlwind of emotions, expectations, and past grievances that seemed impossible to untangle. I was devastated. I move forward from the stinging pain each day. But- it hasn’t ended in my favor and I’m still heavy with sadness.
The conflict began with a seemingly small misunderstanding, and it quickly escalated. You may have been through something like this. I found myself replaying conversations in my head, holding onto a mental scorecard of grievances, and feeling a mixture of hurt, frustration, and confusion. What made it even more challenging was that this was not just any friend; this was someone who had been a significant part of my life. The history we shared, the support we had given each other, and the many memories made it difficult to simply walk away or even confront the issue with clarity.
One of the hardest aspects was the weight of expectations. On my end. This is my issue. I had envisioned our friendship as a source of unwavering support and understanding. When reality didn’t match this ideal, I struggled with disappointment. I had to confront my own expectations and the unrealistic standards I had set, both for myself and for my friend. I have to let go of expectations.
In the midst of this emotional storm, I turned to my yoga practice for solace and guidance. Yoga has always been a sanctuary for me, a place where I can reconnect with my inner self and find peace amidst chaos. Here’s how yoga helped me navigate this challenging period and practice the daily task of letting go:
Mindful Breathing: Make no mistake, as my heart aches taking deep breaths were not anything I was up for. I began by focusing on my exhale only—simple yet profound. Each time I felt overwhelmed by anger or sadness, I took a few moments to breathe deeply. This practice helped me create a space between my emotions and my reactions, allowing me to respond with greater clarity and calm.
Letting Go on the Mat: During my yoga practice, I consciously worked on letting go of physical tension. Poses like Forward Fold and Child’s Pose became metaphors for the emotional release I needed. As I folded my body and rested on the mat, I visualized releasing the burdens I was carrying—grievances, past hurts, and unrealistic expectations.
Self-Compassion: Yoga teaches us to approach ourselves with kindness and compassion. I reminded myself that it was okay to feel hurt and that my emotions were valid. Practicing self-compassion allowed me to acknowledge my feelings without judgment and to gradually release the hold they had on me.
Meditation on Forgiveness: I engaged in meditation focused on forgiveness—not just of my friend but of myself. I visualized forgiving and releasing any lingering resentments. This practice helped me shift from a place of holding onto past grievances to one of acceptance and peace.
Setting Boundaries: Letting go doesn’t always mean giving up; sometimes, it means setting healthy boundaries. I took time to reflect on what boundaries would help me protect my emotional well-being while still honoring the connection I once had.
Finding Peace in Acceptance: Ultimately, yoga guided me toward acceptance. Acceptance helps me let go. I have come to understand that while I could not control the outcome of the situation or change the past, I can choose how I respond. Accepting the situation as it is—and choosing to let go of what I cannot change—has brought me a sense of peace.
Letting go is not a one-time event but a continual process. Each day, I practice releasing the emotional weight that has been holding me back. It’s an ongoing journey of learning to live in the present and to embrace the impermanence of all things. My friend and I are in a different place now, and while our relationship may not be what I once imagined, I have found peace in the act of letting go. Yoga has been a guiding light in this process, helping me navigate the complexities of human emotions with grace and mindfulness.
Thank you for allowing me to share this personal journey with you. If you’re facing your own challenges and find yourself struggling to let go, I encourage you to explore how yoga and mindfulness can support you.
Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Here’s to finding peace and letting go.
From my achy heart to yours— namaste.
